I mentioned in a previous post that through blogging I had developed a writing practice. That sounded kind of grand, but it really isn’t. I’m exited that I am finally writing on a regular basis (well semi-regularly anyway). I have had a somewhat tortured relationship with writing over the years. Through blogging I am finally recapturing the pleasure of writing I had as a kid. I would have an in-the-zone experience in which writing would just pour out of me. Then as I got older the type of writing I would have to do for school required a more deliberate type of writing that didn’t feel natural to me. I stressed over the academic papers, feeling inadequate because I couldn’t easily write them in one shot. I would have some “flow” experiences when writing, but just enough to keep me tormented. Loving it for a moment and then going back to a sense of total inadequacy. I also never could get myself motivated to do a journal. I started one many times, but always lost interest. Somehow blogging has been different. I have seen it referred to as narcissistic in another blog, but I would disagree. Putting myself out for all to see is scary, but the potential of being in conversation is the thing that really excites me. Plus getting some positive feedback has really been helpful. Left on my own, I always assume the worst about what I do. Ultimately, it has been great to finally have a voice. I enjoy communicating, but at my worst I close up and fear that what I have to say is not worth hearing. Blogging has provided a play space to exercise my writing muscles. As with all exercise, I look forward to becoming better with practice.

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